Oh Canada!

Being in Canada has been the worst.  Honestly. 

Since I was a small boy, I have found so much pleasure from Canada, but no more.  My love is over.  And I am nauseous.  That creepy things-seem-okay-but-really-are-not kind of nausea.  Like I had when I blew my nose and this long slug like grey object slithered down my face (it was mucus for all of you on the edge of your seat)(AKA snot)(AKA the grey/gray slug).  Or when I hawked a loogie into the trash can one night and inspected my work in the morning only to find a bloody nugget.

I won’t go into details as to what has caused my Canada nausea, because I do not want to be gross.  I will paint my displeasure with broad strokes instead. 

At about age 8, I made my first Canada joke.  It was met with much laughter.  Fast forward 10 years.  I was the toast of town (I grew up in the 1920’s), due to my hilarious Canada material. 

June 15, 1999.  I literally made a man wet himself with a zinger directed at Canada.

Fast forward tenish more.  I no longer have the stomach for it.  I am devastated.  I am a man apart (what does that even mean?)(other than an awesome vin diesel movie, of course)(or wait, was it mark walhberg?)(same person?)(end of universe if they are ever in the same room at the same time?)

August 11, 2010.  I no longer have the stomach for it.  A have stepped foot in this country, and I can no longer zing.  The people are so friendly that it would be creepy if it was not so zamn amazing.  The place is so beautiful that I gape.  The society seems cohesive and cooperative (that’s right, both). 

And I feel like barfing.


A note from us:  We will be off grid until August 25th.  Enjoying the scenery and having a grand old Canadian time. Drop us an email if you need anything and Chantel can help you out. :)

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