Wendy's illness

I am at the Shake Shack in New York.  I am waiting for the mana (‘shroom burgers) and nectar (the concrete jungle).  My foot taps in nervous excitement.  A mass of the nervously excited enshroud me.  

Wendy approaches.  The kids are downstairs with Brianne. Wendy wields water cups.  I notice a sheepish grin.  It does not invade the Shake Shack Sirvana (“SSS”) (I really wanted alliteration here, but could not thing of a synonym for nirvana that started with an S.  What can I say? I am feeling lazy.  Shangri La!  That would have been perfect.  Zamn!)

“I am sooo embarrassed.” Wendy whispers.

“Don’t worry, I am sure what you ordered will be great.” I reply, still in the SSS.  

“Huh?”

“What?”

“Um, I am embarrassed.”  Wendy whispers a little louder.  (Have I blogged about Wendy’s “whispering”?  If not, I need to.)

“Oh.... Why?”

Wendy continues:

I was walking up the stairs.  An Englishman (maybe she didn’t say Englishman, but this is my story, and I always say Englishman whenever possible.  I don’t know why.  i just love it.) said hello to me.  

I replied to the Englishman, “ ‘Ello! ”

Englishman replied, “Goot mornin to ya’!”

I responded “And a very goot mornin’ to ya’!”

(My English accent is so bad that even when I try to type in the accent, it stinks.  So let me spell out what happened.  The Englishman spoke to Wendy in his beautiful English.  Wendy then passed herself off as English.)

I am amused by the incident, but not surprised.  I am a little relieved, however.  You see, Wendy has a malady.  It involves spitting people’s accents back at them.  

Now, when she is talking to someone from England, it is innocuous.  However, when she is talking to someone who speaks broken English, it can be awkward.

Stranger, “How you.  You like be here?”

Wendy “I fine. I like.  You like be here?”

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