PART 6- Drugs

The doctor asks me what I want for pain.  I reply with the only pain

medication that I have heard of as a philosophy major.  “Morphine”

A quick word about morphine, it makes your troubles go away.  (A quick

word about “a quick word” not even the phrase is quick or a word, and

the only way I can think of to end it correctly is something like “a

quick word, no”, but I have never heard anyone use it that way.  just


When I arrive home, my friend Paul is over.  I am really out of it.  I

do two things that I hate to confess on the blog.

First, I create what I dub the diggity language.  Basically, I add

iggity to every syllable of my speech.

“Higgity Paiggityul,  Whiggity’s Uiggiity?”  Hey Paul, What’s Up. 

I am confident we can all agree that this is odd behavior.

But this pales in comparison to what happens next.  I then serenade

him with Salt N Pepa’s “What a Man”

What a man, what a man, what a man

What a mighty good man

What a man, what a man, what a man

What a mighty good man

What a man, what a man, what a man

What a mighty good man

What a man, what a man, what a man

What a mighty good man

I know that ain't nobody perfect, I give props to those who deserve it

And believe me y'all, he's worth it

So here's to the future cuz we got through the past

I finally found somebody that can make me laugh

(Ha ha ha) You so crazy

I think I wanna have your baby



Do you need a moment?

Did that just happen?

(A few interesting things about me.  I do not know the words to this

song.  I could not even tell you that Salt N Pepa sang it.  I do not

sing in public.  I do not dance in public.  I do not sing and dance in

public.  And I CERTAINLY do not tell my buddy that I want to have his

baby while singing and dancing to him.)

I then decide that I want to write Wendy an e-mail.  I mean, sure,

that was a bit weird for Paul and me what just happened.  I mean,

sure, it will be a few months before we can make direct eye contact.

But, what could possibly go wrong with writing Wendy an e-mail?

We have been dating for a couple of months at this point.  I write her

the following

“My Dearest Wendy,

My Soul yearns for you.  I loved you from whence first you ripped your

napkin.  I am sure that we are Soul Mates.  I know that it is early,

but I am confident that we will marry and live together to the end of

our days.  I love you my beloved.



Up until now, I had told her that I dug her, but never that I loved

her.  I hesitate a second before I send the letter to her.  I think

that perhaps this note is a bit much. (that the actual phrasing was

weird eludes my drug-riddled brain).  However, comparing the e-mail to

what have just occurred between Paul and me makes it seem completely

normal and so I hit send.

Wendy replies, “We need to talk.”

Suddenly, the drugs felt a lot less effective.

We talk.  It is not a happy talk.  Wendy breaks up with me.

We eventually get back together and marry.  However, that is a tale

for another day, as I promised a six part hip hopera.  (However, with

a yell or two of encore (or whatever it is that they yell at a hip

hopera,) I may relent and give you more details of how we got back

together and married.)


  Salt Lake Utah   Lifestyle   Photographer
  Salt Lake Utah   Lifestyle   Photographer
  Salt Lake Utah   Lifestyle   Photographer
  Salt Lake Utah   Lifestyle   Photographer

SENIORS, 2010!


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